My parents thought that I was lazy as a form of rebellion. I would grow out of it. I would start folding my clothes, and doing dishes after I dirtied them, and cleaning on Saturdays to the sounds of 1950s jukebox hits, just like my mother. Eventually, when I became an adult, I would do it. That's what I thought they thought, at least. Laziness is something that adults grow out of.
I’ve been waiting to reach adulthood for a few years now.
Kim and I were discussing a paper maché class that she was considering taking. "I don't know," she said, "that's five hours I could spend studying French, which I don't do."
This struck me as hilarious. Doing my best freckle-faced lispy kid impression, I parroted, "That's five hours I could spend doing something I don't do." Kim and I giggled over that for a few minutes, likely exasperating my new boss and coworkers.
Later I realized that Kim’s seemingly ridiculous statement was actually my daily modus operandi. Why do dishes when I could be studying Japanese, which I won’t get to until I’m taking a class? I can’t fold my clothes now, I need to spend an hour searching for a recipe for those pastries I’ll never make. I could tidy my apartment, but that would detract from getting ready for a jog in the pleasant spring air, even though I’ll get distracted dancing around my apartment, then watching clips from America’s Best Dance Crew, then remembering that there are at least three episodes of The Mentalist that I haven’t seen and therefore must watch them immediately.
Living on my own in a decent-sized apartment (Americans would think it was ridiculously small) has given me ample space to drop my stuff. This is not an analogy or metaphor. Really, when I walk in my apartment I started shedding; shoes, then school bag, then purse, then iPod, and finally clothes all get dumped on the ground in my exhaustion. I leave a trail of items behind me, always picking something else up and putting it elsewhere, never quite getting everything put away.
As a member of the workforce I highly doubt that many people come home from work energized and ready for a productive, tidy evening. Adults, however, are supposed to do their chores at night, during their free time, right? I’ve been waiting for the day when I walk in my door, take a deep and satisfying breath, and think, it’s a grand night for cleaning.
It ain’t coming anytime soon.