Thursday, November 26, 2009

Who the Heck is Christopher Honold?

This week is stupid busy. I hate it. My back hurts even when I'm not moving, I have a constant headache, and I've spent a fortune on baking supplies for pumpkin pies. A fortune! I just want to sit at home, do nothing, and eat a lot of junk food. Unfortunately, that won't happen anytime soon.

I usually look forward to getting home and checking my email. I read all those forwards my family sends, check my Facebook messages and any comments on my blog posts. Today, however, was not so pleasant. In fact, it was downright puzzling. When I got home late from a long day at work I was notified of this lovely Facebook message:
do u know my fiance/ father of our unborn child? bc if u do back off and leave him alone. Im one pissed off pregant lady and I dont care if you got ur a** beat bc im coming over there and I will f**k u up worse than u already were...

oh yea my fiance is chris honold. hes in the marines.. u met him at a club i do believe. BACK OFF..

If this isnt the right laurel... sorry


The asterisks are my addition. The account from which it was sent is one Christopher Honold, the fiancé/father of our (mine and hers?) unborn child (in our shared womb?). Naturally, I clicked on the dude's profile to make sure. No recognition. I must say, in all of my time here I don't believe that I've met any Marines. An Air Force member, yes, but no Marine men. So, I told her that she had the wrong beat-up fiancé-stealer, congratulated her on her (our) pregnancy, and wished her a happy holiday season.

I don't even know if "over there" is Japan. Nothing conclusive popped up on Google.

Out of curiosity, I did a Facebook search on my name. I am the only Laurel Ryan who lists Japan as a location. If Nicole knew the last name of the evil Laurel, she probably wouldn't have sent me the threat. So I tried again. When I searched for the name Laurel alone, 104 people popped up. Adding Japan narrowed it to thirty-four. I wonder if Nicole will try again with the other 34 when she reads my response. Scary. I will say that her sweet, very pretty profile picture does not match her angry text/chat speak. She looks educated. That's if the Nicole who popped up when I clicked on the father of our unborn child's profile is the right Nicole.

if that wasnt the right nicole... sorry


  1. Oh, dalolly! I laughed so hard mom asked from downstairs "Are you reading Laurel's blog?" What happenstance! You have the same name as some tramp home-wrecker! I wouldn't start considering that as a pastime. Clearly it's dangerous.

  2. Hilarious! Your mom read it aloud to me, and I couldn't stop laughing. I love it!

  3. Yipes, sorry you're about to get a beat down from an angry pregnant lady. And the apology for bothering you if you're not the right person...classic! Classic email! An email representative of the ages!

  4. no Marines, but you did meet some hot Spanish firefighters.

  5. Dude... this is Nicole.. the pissed off pregnant lady.. HAHA I am SOOOOOOO sorry that I did that. I did however find the girl.. Her name is Laurel Cotton in fact. stationed in Okieawa Japan, on the army base. I read this and I was like wtf but I am so sorry and I definitely feel like an asshole! :) Forgive me?!

    Nicole. :)

  6. All is forgotten. I just have to say shame on Laurel Cotton. She discredits our shared name.

  7. haha...I got in "trouble" one time via myspace too! this interweb stuff is down right confusing huhyik.

  8. One time I got a message on facebook from a girl I actually knew, accusing me of hitting on her boyfriend, and telling me essentially the same thing that you got from Nicole. I was pretty alarmed, because she'd clearly mistaken "civil conversation" for "extreme macking." Needless to say, we didn't talk much after that. XD